"KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time" (kngt) 09/29/2018 at 00:43 • Filed to: shitpost, shitposting, Marvel, Movies

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Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 09/29/2018 at 01:24

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They SHOULD have a real arachnid play spider man!!!

Wheelerguy > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 09/29/2018 at 04:38

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Arachnae’s story would have been intriguing.

Brickman > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 09/29/2018 at 09:14

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And he was bit by a human, giving him human powers!

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Brickman 09/29/2018 at 10:19

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Given this is a shitpost, I think the way the spider would get human powers is if a human tossed the spider in the toilet, then got shat on, then flushed.

It was the interaction from the toilet water, shit and other sewage that results in a near death experience.

Now this would have to be directed by a male feminist director... so the spider is female... and has a desire to have a human male mate... whom she will eat after the mating. But she’ll only do that to the bad guys.

Unless she’s an anti-hero and does it to a family  guy stuck in a sexless marriage and gives him the ultimate Happy Ending...

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Wheelerguy 09/29/2018 at 10:20

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See my reply to Brickman...

;-)

nermal > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 09/29/2018 at 10:49

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No no no, you’ve got your male feminist director cliche plot lines all crossed up.

Melissa McCarthy needs to be cast as the quirky 30-something single female who in the beginning is shown as a low self esteem doofus, but in the end saves the day, gets a date with one of the hott guys (who initially ignored her), and is generally shown as a sex positive, body positive, grrrrrl power badass.

Also, she defeats the obviously male Spider-Man in an epic boss battle that is concluded by kicking it in the nuts.